I’ve had a lot of people ask me recently about what purpose this blog serves. I think it must be confusing to many, as I am a wife and mother who works outside of the home and yet celebrates homemakers and stay-at-home mothers. It probably seems like a contradiction, yet to a lot of women it makes perfect sense. Let me explain.
A few years ago my husband had a well-paying job that allowed me to spend most of my time at home. It was very enjoyable, as we had a wonderful three-bedroom house with a big backyard and lots of disposable income. I was very content taking care of my husband and son. However, I wasn’t very good at being a homekeeper. I spent most of my time on frivolous things that wasted time and money. I was a housewife in name only, but not in practice. We ate out almost every night of the week, and I spent most of my time on playdates or shopping trips with girlfriends. I didn’t have a homekeeping skill to my name, and the house was always in a disarray. I was an extremely childish bride, but my husband love me and cared for me anyway.
At one point my husband became injured at work. It was a serious enough injury that he realized he would be unable to do jobs in the manual labor sector ever again. We did a lot of praying and fasting, then it became clear to us that my husband needed to go back to school. He came across the passage in Isaiah that reads “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, This is the way; walk in it.’ (Isaiah 30:21) My husband felt very strongly that his injury was a sign that he needed to complete school so that he could work in a field that wasn’t so physically demanding. We’ve both always had an aptitude for math, so I was very supportive of him when he chose to finish his degree in Accountancy. It seemed perfect, but it required that we both give a lot up. We lived nowhere near a university, so we had to sell our home at a loss in order to get to school before the semester began. Without his high-paying job we couldn’t afford a place as nice, so we chose to live in Graduate Student Housing on campus. The came my husband’s pain, we realized all too soon that my husband couldn’t manage school and a full-time job due to his injuries. He was in too much pain from being away from home for 13 hours a day without any resting periods.
He very humbly asked me to consider working, just until he could finish school in three years. Then I could go back to homemaking if I chose.
I was very angry and bitter, but I went along with his request. I know it bothered him a lot to ask me, but I did feel as if it was a chance to submit to my husband in a way that hadn’t been required of me yet. However, the submission was purely lip service at the time. I grumbled a LOT about becoming the breadwinner and I know that it hurt him deeply to see his wife behaving in a way that was so unbecoming. I wasn’t really mad at my husband though, I was mostly angry at GOD. I felt as if my calling was in the home, and I was angry that God would pull me away from that calling. I realized after some Bible-reading and help from a friend that I was asking the Lord to operate on my timetable instead of his. I needed to see that homekeeping WAS in my future, but that for the moment I was needed in the workforce. God wasn’t trying to hurt me or make me angry, he was trying to help our family have a successful future.
In Jeremiah 29:11 is says … ‘For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD,plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’
I also came to realize that I was being given a big TIME-OUT on the housekeeping front. God had given me a position as a keeper of the home, and I had squandered it. Before my husband’s injury I had countless hours to spare and only one child to care for. Now I was going to be expected to keep the home on a much shorter schedule while caring for two kids and supporting my husband through school. I was forced to step up my game, and instead of constantly whining about my lot I chose to use this time to support my husband 100% as my leader and to slowly start developing my homemaking skills….you know….all the stuff I should have been doing in the first place! That way when my time to return to full-time homemaking begins, I will be ready to do it the way I should have the first time.
I’ve learned a lot over the last few months. Oddly enough, i’ve done more homekeeping since beginning a 40 hour a week job than I ever did when homekeeping WAS my job! How sad for me. But i’ve learned that our God is a God of second chances and perfect timing, and i’m actually more content than ever. That isn’t to say I won’t be super thrilled to return to full-time stay-at-home-wifery, but until that day comes I plan to use this blog to chronicle my learning and growing while providing support to other working mom’s waiting for their chance to become a working mom at home!
‘For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.’ – Habakkuk 2:3
May God bless you abundantly and in his perfect timing!
Housewife at Work!